The ISNA Bull-O-Meter (Also known as the “Quickspin” Scale)

I saw something very telling today, and that was Alice Dreger presenting us with the original yardstick used by ISNA to define who was legitimately intersexed. Well, it was the Phal-O-Meter, that was, it turns out, designed by Denise Tree to “protest” against the surgery inflicted on intersex children.

I decided it was worthy of a little bit of an update. And feel it is worth looking closer into the real categories invented by ISNA. (See Illustration)

Essentially it works more or less the same as the original, running down the left hand side of the table we have, of course the Phal-O-Meter itself, and in two columns running from left to right we have “Assigned male” and “Assigned female” this is generally the way you would be defined by ISNA and Team Bailey upon diagnosis and assignation.

Category 1: “Wow Surgeon” (Phalocrat)

Assigned Male

According to ISNA you were born with a male member and were “46 XY”. So that makes you a man, but if any intervention was involved, you had to be a certain type of man, a lardy bastard with a few problems about gender variance, resulting in a sexual fetish for certain, let’s say “Gender variant” porn. You have “male Privilege” and use it to preach eugenics and play with pretty transsexuals.

Assigned Female

If you had your “Wow surgeon!” penis removed then regardless of actual anatomy or chromosomes, then you are “Genuine intersex” which means you have to Join ISNA and be a member of the “Legitimized female by being a radical feminist” club.

Category 2: “Texan”

Assigned Male

If this was you, and in being assigned male you were left with little scars that no one will tell you about, and doctors tend to wince when you mention it, you are an Autogynephilic Transsexual trying to legitimize your womanhood. Even if you do not see yourself as transgendered, transsexual or anything, and you are a regular guy. And never wore a stitch of female clothing. Your todger is dodgy. If you are transsexual, you are in big trouble with team Bailey.

Assigned Female

If you had your “Texan” penis removed then regardless of actual anatomy or chromosomes, then you are “Genuine intersex” which means you have to Join ISNA and be a member of the “Legitimized female by being a radical feminist” club.

Category 3: “Whew OK”

Assigned Male

You were surgically assigned male as a kid? But want to be female? Well, there is a future for you in ISNA! But you have to be a bit conservative with the truth, push yourself up to categories 4, 5 and sometimes 6, Re-invent yourself as having been assigned female and you get to have the lardy bastard  chasing after you and giving you opportunities in the new world of ISNA and Team Bailey. But remember you are always to identify yourself as a “Homosexual Transsexual” when the gassings start. Don’t worry, it is painless.

Assigned Female

If you had your “Whew just about penis” removed then regardless of actual anatomy or chromosomes, then you are “Genuine intersex” which means you have to Join ISNA and be a member of the “Legitimized female by being a radical feminist” club.

Category 4: “Just Squeaks By”

Assigned Male

You were born with ambiguous genitalia; the surgeons (And Tree) pushed the scale a bit. Technically by the arbitrary standards you would be intersexed, but awkward. It is harder to make a pole than a hole and it is very messy, that is why you have endless urine infections and visit the doctors a lot, if you dare to reject this, then people will have to cover their backs because you may sue them. So you cannot possibly exist.

Assigned Female

Again this is the actual midpoint when it comes to sex assignment, you may have severe virilizing CAH. So the rule is (Upon diagnosis of CAH) to “Lob it off”. If you object you will be lying of course, because on this scale you are female and male at the same time, not intersexed. (Basically in ISNA terms you are inconvenient). So you cannot possibly exist.

Category 5: “Fix It Quick”

Assigned Male

You may have been born outwardly female, with CAH or Swyers syndrome, but were assigned male because the surgeon was either religious or had some other grievance against women. You do not exist until you manage to sue the surgeon and when you do, you then become fully female and was never in any way shape or form virilized. You situation is an awkward legal accident that embarrasses ISNA.

Assigned Female

OK, you have your uterus but the surgeons clipped away that clitoris, so you are legitimately intersexed. However objecting to this in any way other than complaining about the functionality of said clitoris is awkward for ISNA. Do Say “Oh my sexual function was upset like in Female genital mutilation” Do not say “Oh you assigned me the wrong sex” (That makes you an evil lying Female to Male transsexual) or “Oh I feel unhappy about all this, it didn’t feel right”. You MUST say what ISNA tell you to say: “Oh it damaged my sexual function”.

Category 6 “Just a Girl”

Assigned Male

According to ISNA you are a female to male transsexual who wants to change back again. Well tough! Better still, you are a fertile man trying to invade female space with all the other evil trannies.

Assigned Female:  “Just a Girl” (Radical Feminist)

According to ISNA you are female, you were born with a vagina and were born with “46 XX” with a little intervention, and this means there are employment prospects for you in damage limitation. You can write lengthy apologias for lardy bastards who are building concentration camps, but be sure your hair is blond and you don’t mind lying to cover the backs of your colleagues. Also there are some not very nice people you need to present as “Scholars” and “Landmark Activists”.

You may or may not notice that in the “Grey area” between male and female (Categories 4 and 5), life is just a bit unpleasant. You are either considered awkward or inconvenient. Well this is what ISNA really stands for “Intersex” is a euphemism for “Inconvenient”.  Because according to ISNA and Team Bailey, intersex people are inconvenient.

And Intersex people are so inconvenient; terms like “DSD” are used instead.

By Sophia Siedlberg, OII-UK

2008