I have learned that no matter how far one falls God is there to catch you in the arms of Grace.  What a wonderful feeling to know that he is truly in my life. 

The pages here are directed mainly toward those that are transsexual rather than intersexual.  I have come to understand that there is more misinformation about transsexuals than those of us that are intersexual.  That being said the stigma remains for us all and this impacts our spiritual side and the choices we make.  I hope that these pages provide comfort to all who find themselves here.

If you have not figured it out already this site is a bit Christian oriented and with good reason, I believe that Christ died for me and because of his death and my faith, Gods grace will provide a place for me with my Savior forever.  What a powerful statement!!!  In Acts 15:11 it states "But we have faith that we will get salvation through the grace of the Lord Jesus. . ."  also in Acts 16:13  ". . . Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house."   More than that I truly have a song in my heart today of praise and worship for him.  At one point I had heard of people having a song in their heart but its another thing to wake up in the middle of the night to the call of mother nature and find yourself reflecting on praise hymns to the point you can almost hear the complete instrumental section.  For those that are there I know you understand, the rest I pray that one day you will indeed understand

Is Transgenderisum Wrong?

Pat Robertson and Transexuality

God Don't Make Mistakes!!

Gender Diversity and Christian Community

Sex and the Search for Intimacy

Dr. Becky Allyson

The Grace and Lace Letter

Transgenderism a gift of the Holy Spirit ??

Understanding Your TS Child

Intersex, Transex and the Bible

Intersex, Transex and the Bible 2

How Christ Died

Intersex & Scriptuer

Some of you may be confused at this point, if you made it this far, because of my

opening page.  There are many things there you may say does not present current

    theological thinking.  In that I don't disagree.  I however believe what I have written there.

  Worshiping has been turned away from the unique experience that an individual shares with the creator as intended, to a political or socially directed quagmire of events that have little to do with worshiping the one true God.  While not all churches nor individuals which attend them fit into this category I feel that because we have lost this focus people have been leaving the church and looking elsewhere for what the think they can find, the need, rather than realizing that worshiping the Creator is a personal and unique thing.  About church however, I have found that in coming together with others that are truly there to worship brings a focus which because of the gathering is more intensely directed to, and we receive so much more from, the praising we were intended to do.  

I have had many challenge me with things like "Christianity is something I would never do because of the worshiping of cannibalism."  They were speaking of the Lords supper from Luke 22:19 and 20 which states  "And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.  Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the New Testament in my blood, which is shed for you."  While I can see why one may think these things it is because of the lack of understanding of the scripture that this is said.  If I may add the same lack of understanding that people have over gender issues.  If you have taken the time to learn about the gender issues you are blessed with, should you not take the time to understand the words of the Creator for this life will end one day and facing an awesome God with out that song I your heart is something I would not want to do.  Nothing of this earth should keep you from the creator.  As to the Lords Supper I have begun to understand its significance.  To me it is as the scripture says, nothing more than bred and wine (or juice).  It is what these represent that is the key and in remembering the events that took place over 2000 years ago.  As the scripture says  "this do in remembrance of me".  When I take communion it does remind me of the price my freedom cost.  Some have said that they are not worthy of taking the Lords Supper.  I have heard it summed up best by the following, "the table is set for sinners".  While I am not without sin I can honestly say my life has been changed and in no small part the wakeup call I received was my blessings of my gender issues.  I say blessings because of what I have received from them and giving these to God to deal with.

I began my life as a Christian when I was young around the age of 10, giving my life to him because I believed the things I had been told in the Bible and believed in those that helped me understand.   Looking back I see that I had also been hurt by some in the ministry that I had felt strongly about and I am sure that these people had no small part in my salvation.  Today I can see that it was the message that I received which was important and not the people who delivered it.  We are all faulty and as true to human nature when those that minister to us falter we tend to be more critical of them than others or ourselves.  In Matthew 7:2-5 states "For as you have been judging, so you will be judged, and with your measure will it be measured to you.  And why do you take note of the grain of dust in your brother's eye, but take no note of the bit of wood which is in your eye?  Or how will you say to your brother, Let me take out the grain of dust from your eye, when you yourself have a bit of wood in your eye?  You false one, first take out the bit of wood from your eye, then will you see clearly to take out the grain of dust from your brother's eye." As for me I am still removing splinters from my own eye.

Looking back at many aspects of my life I understand that this blessing impacted me in many ways I did not understand at the time.  Last year I came across my yearbooks and realized that even then I was dealing with this blessing.  Being born in the late 50s at a time when the Christine Jorgensen was first being put under societies microscope I am sure many could not speculate why she had done such a thing.  During that same era pediatricians were making subjective decisions for the parents about the gender of their children if there was a question surgical alterations being accomplished with out heir consent and surely wit out the consent of the party to whom the surgery was to be done.  While today these things have changed at that time how was I to tell my parents that something was different, I surely never understood what it was.  As I grew I found that fitting the stereotypical expectations was easier if I just watched others and emulated them and learned from their mistakes.  Learning this early in life helped me later in life as well. 

It was not until I was married to my spouse and had been in the military that I begun to understand just how different I was.  In the mid 80s I was still not with the Lord as I should have been.  At the same time my blessing seemed to be overwhelming me in many ways.  I however was looking in the wrong place for help, I was looking within.  Seeking assistance from the military physically or psychologically proved to be futile and some exceptions remains this way today.  Because of this fact I withdrew deeper.  Finally I begun to understand through the help of others and then the Internet that there was some real information out there about other people blessed similarly.

In the mid 90s I begun to seek real help realizing that I could not deal with this alone.  To date I have seen over half a dozen therapist and a few doctors.   Finding a doctor that was willing to assist while in the military, even finding one that would provide a decent physical was an undertaking.  This was the same in seeking a therapist with the veterans administration once I retired.  Yes I made it that far again thanks to God.  It was before I retired that I had begun to take things serious.  I had been ordered back over seas and the Lord intervened and I was to remain here in Virginia.  I knew I would not last had I departed.  I had begun to consider my options however all I read indicated that the path I was on was extremely unfavorable and I did not want to suffer that which I knew at that point so many others had.   My last years with the military found me at extremes with myself and having a harder and harder time staying focused on the important things.  As a family we were the model.  I find that is still true today but with Gods grace it was and is possible. 

I was at a low point and had tried on many occasions and many ways to validate my feelings.  It seemed at that point finding a therapist that knew more than I did was an impossibility.  I was about to do something stupid however I had begun praying more and more and in this case God answered.  I was now in contact with someone that proved to be the turning point in much of this.  I was able to schedule an appointment with him at the same time and date I had previously set aside to do something I am sure now could have been disastrous.  When we met I saw some relief even though I am sure initially I was apprehensive.   Of all the therapist I have seen he is and will remain my first and best choice.  Of the ones I have seen there are only three that I would even consider returning to.  Most were unwilling or unable to understand the complexity of some of these issues and to be honest I really did not bring a lot of excess baggage with this issue that many tend to do.  Again I am blessed.

I had been and was hoping to remain in the middle of the two genders so to speak.  Many find this an appropriate place for them and I respect that.   Some in the family ask why God made you that way and even today I don't have an answer for them.   If however I can speculate for a minute I would say that God used this issue, this blessing to get my attention and I was more than willing at this point to not only listen to the Lord but to put this in the Creators hands and see what was planned for me.  I cannot say that this was easy but I will state for the record that just that simple act has proved many times over to be the turning point that has provided the rekindled fire that I now have for the Lord.

At some point I think all Christians that happened to be blessed with any abnormality including gender abnormalities ask "why me Lord"?  I certainly know that I did just that on many occasions and like a good friend of mine prayed time and time again that this would be taken from me.  Most of the time I had not giving thought as to the particulars of what gender I was to be.   I was, in societies eyes male and I just wanted to be relieved of the responsibility of having to deal with this.  To be honest I was not dealing with anything as well as I should have because it was beginning to be a great distraction in my life.   Once I did turn this over to the Lord I found that I had to remember that I had done just that.  Its easy to try and pick these things up again and I often found myself attempting to do just that.  On the other and I also found that the more I let things go the more God was willing to accept.  I have been blessed with an outstanding and accepting church and pastor, my family that has taken the time to educate themselves on these issues have accepted me as well as the corporation for whom I work.  Having to deal with the military as a client today I still perform the same functions I did for them while in the military.  I have had the opportunity to not only educate them on gender issues but tell them my story as to how this blessing provided a path that has lead me back to Christ and a renewed relationship with my family.

I hope that by you hearing a bit about how God the Creator has worked in my life you find that it has effected your life as well.  God is real, God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and I for one want to spend that tomorrow with the Creator!! 

If you don't know the Lord as your personal Savior it does not take much.  You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer.  Prayer is talking with God.  God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart.  The following is a suggested prayer: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins.  I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord.  Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life.  Take control of my life and make me the kind of person You want me to be."

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart?  If it does, pray this prayer right now.  Placing your faith in Christ will result in His coming into your life as He has promised.  This will begin a relationship with Him that will grow more intimate as you come to know Him better.  And with Him at its center, your life will take on a whole new dimension -- a spiritual one -- bringing more harmony and fulfillment to all of your relationships.

Prayer is a powerful thing use it with caution.

I leave you with one final thing, a prayer.  It has been working in the lives of others and it has begun to work in my life as well.

From 1 Chronicles 4:10 

"And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my border, and that thy hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it be not to my sorrow (I may not cause pain)! And God granted him that which he requested."

The Cookie Jar

A Christian perspective on the GLBTI community

Intersexuality Fails to Support Homosexuality

Made in the image of God 

Reflections, why transgenderism is a gift of the Holy Spirit

In Christ there is no male and female

Organisation Intersex International

A Place Called Grace

by Dalelynn