Lauren's Story

I had GRS with Dr. Marci Bowers on July 9th 2003. I first heard of her from a friend who knew I was considering going to Eugene Schrang and asked if I had considered Marci Bowers. I had not heard of her so I inquired and then found out that another friend was already scheduled for surgery with Marci on July 11th. I must admit to some apprehension about changing to go to Marci for GRS as she was not well known at the time and I was unsure of her expertise. Clearly, one does not want a novice doing ones GRS if one has a choice. My concern was amplified by the absence of any post op pictures to demonstrate the quality of her work. I then contacted Marci directly and we began a series of emails, during which I found her to be a very warm and thoughtful person, very concerned about providing me with a GRS that was more than just a surgery, but also a celebration of my final step into womanhood. I was very open about my concerns and she reassured me that she was indeed a good surgeon and never once took offense to what must have surely seemed like offensive questions regarding her skill. I went so far as to call other surgeons that I respected to verify that she was indeed, …that good. To my amazement the response I received from other surgeons was that she really was… that good, and one, Douglas Ousterhout told me, “Marci is the future of GRS”. During the two weeks I vacillated over my decision she went way out of her way to help me feel comfortable with my decision, whatever it would be and treated me like a close friend.

I finally decided to trust my instincts and go with Marci, I committed to July 9th with her and cancelled my other GRS appointment for September and then hurriedly began getting my letters together two months earlier than I had expected to need them.

I took some time to myself before the trip to try and prepare myself for the surgery, but I found it difficult to find a peaceful spot. For two weeks prior to surgery, I was a wreck and very annoying to my friends, who nevertheless went out of their way to help me prepare, in particular my friend, Amanda, who truly looked after me like a sister and made sure I didn’t spend too much time alone. On July 5th I threw a coming off party for about 20 friends and was fortunate to have a friend, Vince, who makes amazing custom wedding cakes and prepared a 18” 3D penis cake for me. It was amazingly life like and was actually airbrushed to look real, despite it’s enormous size. Vince did have a final joke on me as he had baked a condom inside the cake filled with red liquid food coloring. When I cut the cake the red food coloring gushed out looking very much like blood and I am told my expression was total shock. All in all, the party was quite successful.

The Journey to Trinidad

The next night I stayed with friends near the airport to catch an early flight to Denver, which was scheduled to get me there by 10 AM. I had reserved the best room in a beautiful Victorian bed and breakfast in Trinidad for one night as I would be checking into the hospital the next night. Marci had invited me to dinner with her family and I was looking forward to a chance to relax over a nice meal and a bottle of wine and become better acquainted with this person who was going to change my life in so many ways. I had been touched by this offer and was finally assured in my heart that this was the person I wanted to do my GRS. I arrived at the airport 1 ½ hours before my flight, which would get me to Denver at 10 AM, giving me plenty of time for a leisurely drive down to Trinidad.

Then the ordeal began as Northwest airlines bumped me several times, and then put me on a plane to Minneapolis, which arrived too late to make my connection to Denver and finally got me to Denver at midnight, 14 hours late. Clearly, I would be unable to even get to Trinidad until about 4 AM. I had lost my room reservation and I had lost my opportunity to have dinner with Marci and get to know her a little better, and possibly find that peaceful spot in my soul I had been searching for. I was feeling very discouraged and dreading sleeping in the rental car. All in all, this was not a favorable beginning to the most important event in my life. I turned my cell phone back on after the flight and I noticed there was a message It was Marci, offering to let me stay at her house and saying that she would leave the door

unlocked and to just come in and she would have the couch made up for me. I was stunned…what surgeon in the world offers to leave their home unlocked, for a patient they have never met, in the middle of night. I picked up a rental car, and started driving to Trinidad, 200 miles away. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to get to Trinidad from Denver, other than renting a car, and the rental was actually more expensive than my flight.

I had just left the outskirts of Denver and was feeling depressed and sleepy, when my cell phone rang and my friend Kim was there. She knew I was exhausted and talked to me for about an hour until I lost the connection, but she managed to raise my spirits and keep me talking until I was awake. I continued my drive through the total darkness of rural Colorado. Every ten minutes or so I would see another set of headlights coming towards me, but other than that the blackness beyond the reach of my headlights was absolute. Once I stopped to stare up at the Milky Way. In the city, you can never see how brilliant and vast it is, as it majestically sweeps across the sky. It had been many years since I had a chance to really see it and as I stared, I reflected on how far I had come in such a short time and I suddenly realized that I was completely ready for this surgery. I had no more anxiety, I was finally at peace and I accepted whatever the goddess had in store for me. In the middle of the Colorado desert at 2:30 in the morning, my worldview changed forever. I finished the drive and easily found Marci’s house, entered quietly, lay down on her couch and was instantly asleep.

Meeting Marci

I awoke about three hours later, the sun streaming through the windows and there was Marci and her family, tip toeing around the house to keep from waking me. I had to laugh at the thought of how real these people were. This was no pretentious surgeon full of herself, and an arrogant family. These were real people treating me as an honored guest. I arose with a smile and greeted them good morning and was introduced all around and to my surprise was introduced to Christine McGinn, who had been on a television documentary a few years ago. She is now a fourth year surgical resident, and had just arrived in Trinidad to do a rotation with Marci to learn GRS. The whole family Marci, her partner, and her son were very attractive people and immediately put me at ease. I must say at the risk of sounding fawning,

that Christine is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and I was instantly feeling insecure as I knew I must look a sight, with almost no sleep and no makeup and my hair messed up from my few hours of sleep. Her easy manner quickly defused all my concern though and I soon felt like part of the family.

Marci and Christine left soon afterwards to go to the hospital and her partner and son invited me out to breakfast and on the way gave me a short tour of Trinidad. At breakfast, I think the waitress mistook us for a tourist family, husband and wife and young son. I found the idea very alluring, a short meal in which I could pretend to myself about what might have been. Following breakfast, we went over to the hospital to look around and visit Marci’s office where I had my pre-surgical appointment later that day. During breakfast her partner had described his work to me. He does hellerwork, a form of deep muscle therapy similar to Rolfing. It turned out his office was in the same building as Marci’s and I asked if it would be

possible to schedule a session with him prior to my meeting with Marci. I had never experienced a massage of the quality I had for the next hour. He found misalignments and muscle adhesions which had been bothering me for years and corrected them. I was truly impressed. I walked from his office feeling like a new woman and then had my examination with Marci. She examined me and we discussed the procedure and she answered my questions. Following that Christine offered to drive me back to Marci’s house to pick up my luggage and on the way we decided to stop for lunch. As we were both newcomers

to Trinidad, we promptly became quite lost and had a riotous time finding our way through this small town, before stumbling on a Mexican restaurant and having lunch. Following that we returned to the house, I picked up my luggage and then returned to the hospital and checked in.

San Rafael Hospital

I won’t describe the hospital in detail here, but it is surprisingly well equipped for a small town hospital. It was clean and well kept and everyone was very friendly. I did find that it was a little disorganized at times and when I checked in this was demonstrated.

I arrived as I had been instructed at 6PM and found the registration desk was closed. I was redirected to the emergency room for check-in. I arrived there and after some moments of confusion they located my information and showed me to my room. So far so good, but they failed to inform nursing that I was in the room and several hours went by while I wondered what to do. I proceeded to unpack and make myself comfortable. Set up my notebook and checked the internet access and then answered a few emails.

Finally, I went to the nurses station and asked if there was something I should be doing to prepare for the next mornings surgery. They were surprised to see me and find out that I was the patient awaiting GRS the next day. I did take that as something of a compliment as they had thought I was a relative of another patient and hadn’t realized I was their missing GRS patient. I was amazed that I was standing in the GRS ward of San Rafael Hospital, totally accepted as genetic, by nurses accustomed to working with transsexual women, while they were actively trying to figure out where their patient had disappeared to.Talk about affirming!!!

Surgery

After that, things went a bit more smoothly and I shaved my genital area and gave myself an enema in preparation for the next day’s surgery. I found that I did not need the Valium I had brought, as I was so relaxed and ready for the next day. The next morning, I skipped the Valium again as it was unnecessary. Several other friends had described this feeling of calm prior to surgery to me, but I was amazed to feel it myself. The pre-surgical workup proceeded smoothly, with one minor humorous incident, which stood out. The anesthesiologist bore a striking resemblance to Santa Claus and explained that he was going to be giving me an epidural so I could watch. I was surprised to be offered this option, but I quickly and emphatically assured him that there was no way that I was going to be awake for this operation. (no reflection on Anne Lawrence, but I did not want a memory of the actual process) We arrived at a mutually agreeable decision that he would do it my way and I was soon under general anesthetic. The next thing I knew, I was waking up with a feeling of intense pain in my hips, which resulted from my legs being in the stirrups for 4 ½ hours. This passed quickly with the help of the PCA. I did see Marci shortly thereafter and she was very excited about how natal my appearance had turned out and commented that this was

the first time Biber had not even been in the hospital and said he had only called in from the barber shop, which in my morphine fogged mind struck me as a hysterically ironic location to call from.

A few hours later, I was visited by two friends who I had met on the web but had never met in person. Dana, who was having surgery in two days and Shell her partner. To my mind, floating on the morphine, they appeared to be angelic. I know them much better now especially after sharing a room with Dana while recovering, but I still like to hold on to my memory of that first meeting, when they leaned over my bed and introduced themselves. They both appeared to me as two of the most beautiful and wonderful people I had ever met. As our friendship has grown since then, I realized that my first impression despite the morphine, was completely accurate.

Recovery and Care

Over the next week, I did encounter some lapses in professionalism among the nursing staff. This generally resulted in minor procedural problems and did not affect my care. I was looked after by a mixture of experienced nurses and student nurses and this sometimes resulted in inconsistencies. To some extent, this made the atmosphere seem homier, than the slick professionalism of a big city hospital. There also seemed to be some disorganization in management. One example was upon my release, the nurses informed me that the hospital pharmacy was refusing to fill scripts for released patients as some employees were mad at each other. I went to the Safeway to fill my script and it was no problem, but it was an example of something that would never be tolerated in a larger medical center. There were a number of small things, of this nature, which disturbed but did not frighten me. My medical care was closely monitored throughout by Marci, and I always had her phone number available.

I had a remarkably uncomplicated surgery and recovery with no difficulty urinating or defecating, which can be a source of discomfort. I had one problem with nausea the night after surgery, when dietary brought me solid food despite Marci’s directions for liquids only. I should point out that at least one other patient did have problems going to the bathroom and I was informed that this was not unusual following GRS and extended bed rest.

There did seem to be some confusion among the nurses over whether to do things the way Biber had always done them or the way Marci had requested them. This is understandable as I was the first patient for GRS when Biber was not involved. I finally met Dr. Biber, the day of my release when he stopped in to say hello. I found him to be both congenial and charming.

Post-Operatively

For me, dilation is going easily, The hospital supplied two cyberskin dildos, but I had brought a set of intelligence engineering stents with me and Marci is now recommending those on her website. I was able to use the largest stent, 1 1/2 inches in diameter from the first day with no pain. I was asked by friends if dilation hurts and this puzzled me a bit at first as there was no pain or discomfort at all. I have since found out that the pain can result from inadequate dissection of the muscle, which leaves the internal opening in the muscle wall too small, making it difficult to pass the stent all the way into the vagina. After learning this I did recall Marci mentioning that she had been able to do an excellent dissection for me. At

the time I wasn’t sure what she referred to and was too medicated to inquire, but in hindsight that must have been what she meant.

My nerves are firing frequently and this began before I was released from the hospital, around day 5, post op. I am now almost six weeks post op and although I am not sensate yet, I am finding areas which are beginning to produce a very pleasant 'glow' when touched.

Marci does a penile inversion and mentioned she dislikes using a scrotal graft, preferring to reserve that tissue for construction of Labia. She does do a two step procedure and I will be returning for Labiaplasty later this year or early next year

Summing Up

Okay, to summarize. I had a wonderful experience although there is still some shaking out occurring among the nursing staff as they transition from Biber to Marci. I coped with this fairly easily as I have worked in medicine for many years and am used to directing student medical techs and supervising medical personnel. My results look very good, but I am still recently post op and cannot address some critical issues such as total sensation recovery, yet.

I was tremendously impressed by Marci and we spoke at length about her goals and dreams for taking GRS further than anyone has ever done before and combining the best features of other surgeons techniques. I hope the other GRS surgeons are willing to share their special techniques with her. I do believe Marci's purpose in learning GRS is a true desire to help other TSs. She is TS herself and has really put herself out on a financial, professional and personal limb by going to Trinidad to work with Dr. Biber. This willingness to disrupt her settled happy life to give back to the community is inspiring to me and I value Marci's friendship. I know most of us form strong attachments to our surgeons, but objectively

Marci did far more for me than any other surgeon would have and I cannot even begin to do justice to her, here. Her care went into the emotional and spiritual realm as I had been hoping for. I did not want this to be just another surgery, as GRS has so much more meaning for me. Marci spent many hours talking with me and actively helped me make this into a spiritually transformative experience as well as a physical one.

Love,

Lauren

cynmalory@yahoo.com