This was my first Southern Comfort Conference (SCC).  Being ask to present here was a wonderful occasion to spread the message of a truly united community and objectively world.  It proved to be a grand opportunity to meet some wonderful individuals and see just what all the fuss is all about here in Atlanta every year.  I must say that SCC has met their goal of striving to provide "something for everyone".   The choice of seminars alone was a dilemma in trying to choose just what to attend.  The 2002 seminar programming was held from Thursday thru Saturday, 9:00 AM to 5:00PM offering an array of sessions focusing on Relationships, Political Activism, SRS (Surgery), Image and Deportment, Transgender History, Sexuality, Coming Out, Legal Issues, Healthcare, and more.  There were a number of seminars held especially for the significant others, family and friend as well.  These seminars were broken down into areas of special interest however you could pick and choose to meet you own desires.  There is an overview of what you missed for some of the seminars contained herein.

I was one of many who volunteered to work and ended up assisting with the courtesy team.  This team provided assistance to those that needed direction and helped provide a check of attendees at the seminars ensuring great and safe environment for all.   Volunteers are needed every year to assist in putting on this great event and we had a great group this year. 

Rikki Swain Institute was there with their survey and while assisting with that I learned that we had well over 200 surveys returned at the event and offer a reminder here that if you would still like to fill one out that you may by contacting them at rikkiswin@aol.com or visit them on the web at http://www.rsinstitute.org

Dining at SCC was a whole new experience for this country girl.  The noon and evening meals were a dining pleasure.  Not only was the food great but the addition of some wonderful speakers and entertainment made the meals a dining event.  One of the most notable speakers was Pauline Mitchell, Mother of Fred Martinez Jr.   While this is not the first time I have heard Pauline recount her memories of Fred and what he went through by at the hands of others for just being different I am amazed at her strength in sharing this with us and it moved many to tears.  Other mealtime events included the SCC Talent Show, which provided the opportunity for some of the conference attendees to show their talents, and the Saturday evening meal was a treat with the Atlanta Gay Man's Choir, a group of 90 individuals providing wonderful vocal entertainment. 

Seminars were the reason many attended however there were also many activities outside of these.  Some included: 

New Comers Reception, hosted in one of the suites and proved to be one of the major gathering places for Thursday evening.  While conversation was the order of the evening this provided an icebreaker for many entering into the world in their alter ego the first time.  For those that have not attended SCC this is the place to be however I can say that it seems everyone seems to drop by so if your looking to meet someone or just want to talk this is the place for the evening. 

Gathering of the Guys, like the newcomers reception this was hosted in one of the suites and proved to be a gathering places for Thursday evening for everyone, not just the guys.  Remember what I said about these F-Ms here for another reason well put that out of your head all they all are very cordial toward everyone.  Having been invited it was only right that I make an appearance and did after a lovely dinner with great friends old and new at Einstein's Bistro just two blocks from the hotel 

There were gatherings and sojourns held that also allowed opportunities for shopping and visits away from the hotel for those that needed to get away and experience the great opportunities Atlanta has to offer.

With almost 700 in attendance this year, I know that the attendees reflect only a small sample of the TGV population, caregivers, family and friends.  Next years event is already in the planning stages with a meeting held Sunday morning to gather the thoughts, suggestions and comments from those that attended to make next years event even better. . . if that is possible.  Those that attended are truly blessed because they were indeed able to attend to share in fellowship with one another.  We must remember that the work done here and the momentum gained through this dynamic gathering needs to be carried by each individual back home with them maintaining and spreading this momentum until the whole of the GLBTI community is united.  Once we achieve Unity we can the have a daunting CommUnity that can no longer be ignored.

More on the seminars!

If you were ever in doubt about what goes on at SCC you will find below is a summary of some of the seminars that were provided at the conference.  It is our hope that you will join us in the future.

The following is just a sampling of things that this writer was able to attend.  There were more and there were some for just me as sometimes I needed the seminar therefore took no notes.  Everyone will find the track of events that best fulfill their needs.  While I do not know if I will return I will say that the event, the friends and the energy shared is something I will remember for a lifetime.

Top 10 Mistakes CD's Do to Get Read

Presented by Denae Doyle

Denae had a large crowd in this frank discussion on cross-dressing and the differences in mannerism of women vs. men.  Denae's experience comes from coaching models in their presentations and is presented in a lively interactive fashion that is worthy of a look by anyone.  Form the female side I can say that many of these things are taken for granted but when you hear someone speak of them you begin to notice the distinctiveness of each.  Her top ten list included:

1.Brows to thin2.Bad wig (less is better)

3.Head Movement 4.Voice and listing as a female

5.Hip pads to big   6.Bust to big

7.No style 8.Nails to dark / rings

9.Wrong fabric      10.Linear movement

We will see her return I am sure.

Coping with Non-Op Status

Presented by  Michelle Cooper

What an awesome discussion and revelation of everyone in attendance.  Everyone there was provided the opportunity to tell a bit about themselves and reflect on where they were in the gender continuum.  While many of the caregivers seem to thing the path to all gender issues begins and ends at one or the other ends of the gender spectrum, male or female.  Through this discussion it was clear that al in attendance spoke the same language in that this is not about surgery, it's not required.  This is about self and about being comfortable in who you are.  This is a message that every caregiver needs to understand and it is up to each of us to help ensure the message is delivered.  

The First Steps

This siminiar provided comments and discussion on the physical aspects of transition from the F-M perspective, a perspective unheard of less than a decade before by many.   During the presentation some indicated that many things have changed for those that transition as it was not uncommon that an individual contemplated these choices for ten or more years.  Today however it seems that many are taking the step after only two or three years.  There was much speculation on the underlying cause for this however all agreed it boiled down to education.  Much of this education and information coming through the internet as a resource and as a result there are younger people transitioning earlier and benefiting from the early transition because they do not have many of the responsibilities that older individuals may have had such as a marriage and children. 

Transition was described as a new life which had been opened up to shortly after begining transition with comments like "shortly after taking that first shot of testosterone things began to change.  Food had a taste that was a whole new world of taste for me". It was wonderful to be apart of this discussion and an education for me.  I know that we will see more of these guys around in the future.  I am still pondering the real reason they are here is it really the seminars or all the women.  :-)

Coming Out to Family & Friends

Presented by Mara Keisling  mara@kesling.com

This presentation brought a fresh perspective that many have not considered regarding when to tell someone the news.  One of the first things revealed is that the news of TGV individuals is not unlike the issues and reactions often expected when one begins speaking of divorcing ones spouse.  The presentation of this information is critical to the outcome and should be presented in a fashion that informs people on the facts and information that they need to hear, the things that will answer their question.  

Coming out is never easy, because of internalized, real or perceived expected outcomes, however being prepared and providing the answers will surely lessen these and one never knows how easy or hard it is until they have taken that first step.  Like toothpaste from a tube once the words is out, you cannot take it back.  Choose these words wisely and remember: "Your life is bigger than anything that can happen to you".

Successful Transition in the Workplace

Presented by Amanda Simpson

This is another must for those that are planning on transitioning and work.  I say it like that because no matter if you transition on the job or transition and then move these issues always have the potential or appearing and its great to have the answers.  In order to appreciate some of the great work that has been done regarding this visit http://www.tgnetarizona.org or e-mail them for more information at info@tgnetarizona.org

The Issue of Passing

Presented by Holly Boswell, Jessie McGowen, Alex Bannister, Monica Helms,

Divinity, Debbi Richards

Passing, whether done as by adoption of a roll or just being ones self is not only how we see ourselves but also how we feel and expect others to see us.  While some choose to adopt one of the binary genders it indeed is not for everyone.  In choosing to accept the binary the majority do so with the expectation of being accepted.  

There are many social advantages and disadvantages of passing and in discussion with the members some of these were revealed.  There were colorations made between the social economic advantages for those that are African American 'passing' as white and the move from male to female vs. female to male and the shift in roadblocks, glass ceilings and the like not because one is transgendered, as that is not always known, but because of our own shift we are more aware of the changes in the social economic structure.  This is one of the seminars that I feel could use more exploration as there never seems to be enough time.

Name Change & Other Documents

Presented by Heather Matesic & Dallas Denny

This was a great session for those in question as to how to complete these various steps if needed.  While the process may seem complex with various on line resources we have today much of what is required can be done on line or even through in line services.

Employment Discrimination

Presented by Peter & Shirley Oiler, Courtney Sharp

Covering these issues from a personal level by the members the discussion lead not only into discrimination but reverse discrimination and the impact these have in all our lives and in the productivity of the corporate world.  We all left there with a better understanding of just how much work there is to be done to educate employers and society as a whole.

Sex Beyond the Binary

The panel members begun by presenting a wonderful introduction explaining their perspective on where they are in mind and body.  Experiences included those of the intersexed, self identified she-male, transgendered female to male with wonderful insights in the levels one lives in which were described as the relationship of your body to another, the relationship you have with your own body and how these relate to ones sexuality.  In this, the direction and energy we share based on sex, sexual orientation or a relationship.  The panel concluded that it was the relationship we share that drives our sexual energy.  This was one of the seminars that could have continued into the next session.

Standards of Care (SOC)

Presented by Dallas Denny and Virginia Erhardt

This is surely a controversial subject for many, do we need it, if so does it need to change, what of the movement toward getting Gender Identity Disorder GID removed from the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual (DSM) and how it will impact the SOC.  The mixture of Dallas with her historical knowledge of how the SOC has changed over the years and Virginia (one of the many care giving professionals at the conference) and her perspectives on how she employs the SOC in her therapeutic practice all departed with the feeling that while there is much work to do in the care provided things are changing  for the better.

Perspectives on Intersexuality

Presented by Dalelynn Sims, Janet Green, Betsy Driver

This I believe was a first for the event and I feel privileged to have had Janet and Betsy as co presenters.  As it turned out this proved to be a very controversial topic and it was great that it was scheduled at the end of one day as we ran over almost 30 minutes.   We did not have a large crowd and I think that was good as it provided for a level of intimacy we may not have achieved otherwise.  The presentation consisted with our introductions and a bit about our intersexed background followed by a video presentation that covered atypical genitally.  The video provided the first look at information on atypical genitally many had ever seen and physical abnormalities that manifest themselves at birth are only a small portion of the intersexed population.  With over 600 different intersexed blessings everyone begun to gain a new understand of this complex and widespread intersexuality is.  The parallel issues became apparent to many before the discussion, during the video.  While intersexed is different from others in the community we share many of the same concerns and these lead to some wonderful discussion.  

In summary I must say that there were many other seminars I whish I could have attended.  I did attend some not listed for my own benefit and chose not to take notes.  I will also say that because I wanted to provide the reader a better overview and there were so many of interest I split some there by attending two during a given timeframe.  One of the things presented to the board to consider for next year are multiple iterations of some of the more controversial seminars.  This summery leaves out the energy that we all obtained while there and the fire that has been amplified within each of us on the issues we hole dear.  It is my whish that all that attend share the passion, fire and energy gained so that the world one day becomes as united as we are while at SCC.

Dalelynn

Organisation Intersex International

Southern Comfort Conference